Eggs Over Evil

I think that the best way to ensure that my kids (provided they eventually exist) develop strong imaginations will be to fill their heads with lots of silly stories and tales. And storytales!

For example, I just thought of something fun to instill into their child-thoughts:

"Why should you be good little children? Well, I'm glad you asked, lil' Kojak. Every time that you do a good deed, that mean ol' devil gets a little bit sick. SO sick that you can fry an egg on his red, red head. And the sicker he is, the less kittens he will have time to steal, since he'll be sniffling and sneezing in his red, red bed. So, what are you waiting for, Rapunzel? Go save lives!"

That'll be fun.

Oh-Possum!

And they said it couldn't be done. "A opossum? Those are ugly. Really ugly. You are going to be an ugly oposum. You can't draw a cute one."

Well, I think this one is rather adorable. Reading upside-down and all. I think that I would be considerably sad if you said otherwise.

Sidenote: While I actually did not enjoy reading "A Tale of Two Cities," I very much enjoyed making a pun out of the title!

Thus continues the silly Burtimal Self Portrait series. What's next?!?!

Illustration Friday - Theater

Here's my thought process for this week's theme:

After seeing the topic: "Hmmm...meh. This'll be a hard one to come up with something funny."

Later, at lunch: "Ok, what to draw, what to draw. Need to make theatrics funny. Something with acting; a play maybe. Sure. A play. Which play?

Instantly image of Hamlet talking to Yorick's skull pops into mind and I decide: "Done, now how do I make it sillified?"

Famous scene undergoes a role reversal in my head, characters are flopped. I think: "Yep. In watercolor!"

And now I'm picturing an audience comprised of skeletons applauding, my thoughts drowned out by the din of bone hands clanking together.

Oh! And the sound effect to accompany this illustration is "BOOP!" Yes, Skeleton Hamlet is booping Yorick's nose. He knew him well, after all.

Kung Fun

A couple of weeks ago, one of my friends told me about this old Shaw Brothers martial arts flick called Dirty Ho, which immediately brought forth laughter. Solely based off of his praise for the film, I ordered from ze internetz. It arrived Monday, and tonight is the screening.

I, unfortunately, got it into my head that I needed to create a Facebook event for this screening (which will just comprise of about four friends and myself). This meant that I needed to illustrate something and then design a worthy/fun poster. The things I do for silliness...

Well, last night I spent about forty-five minutes or so drawing a martial artist performing a magnificent feat of shoe-tying prowess. Which led to a debate as to whether or not this could actually be done in real life. I blindly claimed that it could. I mean, since I could draw it, it has to be performable, right? RIGHT?

And at lunch today I spent half an hour working up this graphic to promote the screening to a very minute friendset and for a very minute period of time (since I posted it at about 1 p.m. and we're watching it at 8 p.m.).

But I think it just had to be done. For the honor of Dirty Ho.

I'll post an update with our impressions of the movie. So check back later, haha!

Update 1: He is wearing Kungverse shoes.

Update 2: Oh my, it was so great. The fight choreography was amazing, there were plenty of funny scenes, and the DUBBING WAS HILARIOUS. Two thumbs way up. It really was epicness at its finest.

Illustration Friday - Impossibility

And they said it couldn't be done, ladies and gentlemen! But Irvine "Wheel N' Deal" Walsh is currently doing it. Oh, he's doing it, alright! Ladies and gentlemen, remove your shoes and prepare to place a foot (or two) in your mouths. But first, please finish that tasty Jumbodog. Wouldn't want to get chili in your toenails, would you?

Wheel N' Deal Walsh has been told it would be impossible to launch his unicycle over seven busses. W&DW (not the shortest way to say his name, I know) has taken this as a personal challenge, despite the previous world record unicycle jump being zero busses.

"I aint sayin imma god or nuthin but if you set them busses up, they will get theirselves jumped. An I'll jump all them nay-sayers right on afterwards. They just askin ta be jumped. Thats the deal an here's the wheel," Walsh said in an interview moments before burning mono-rubber towards the launch ramp.

And now the moment has come, ladies and gentlemen. Wheel N' Deal is off! He's pedaling furiously; gathering speed. LOOK AT THOSE LEGS GO. I've never SEEN acceleration like this come from one man, one wheel before. Golly! One wheel, two legs, folks. There's got to be power somehow in that equation. Double the leg-power, right?

HE'S IN THE AIR! LIFTOFF! Look at him go! He knows he has it! He is giving the audience a show now! He -- this just in: It seems that Ol' Alfonse the farmer has misplaced his prized alligator, Clovis. If anyone has seen an overly large gater roaming about, please report him to the Security Station immediately...

Prelim Sketches

Here are a couple of preliminary sketches for a couple of my posts. They were just floating around in my messenger bag, so I thought I'd scan them for you.

The first is obviously reference for the Cheetah Me self-portrait, haha. I don't have a printer at my house, and since I went draw Cheetah Me at a nearby coffee shop, I did this quick sketch (probably two minutes) from a random cheetah image search. If you search "cheetah" this will probably be in the top three image hits, haha.

The finished illustration is a few posts below this one, if you want to check it out.

The other illustration was the first sketch I did for my WereWaldo? shirt design. I opted to focus more on the face, but this drawing still cracks me up. You can see the shirt design at this link: WereWaldo?

Mental Images - New Booksketch

Howdy, everyone! Just wanted to let you all know that, in case you aren't a follower of my other site yet, I just posted a new illustration on Booksketch. It was inspired by the book One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Check it out and let me know what you think! :D

Here's the link: Mental Images - Booksketch

Illustration Friday - Fleeting

For this week's IF theme, Fleeting, I thought I should illustrate some concept that involved actual air or navy fleets.

And then I figured "Heck, might as well draw both kinds of fleets. Fleets? Is that the plural?" Yes, this is an actual thought transcript, I think.

And then I decided to add "a fleeting thought" to the concept to double things up. How could I mix all of these things together? And, might I add, much more random flying/swimming things, such as a pirate ship and an Arwing from the Starfox series. Yes, I did just mention Starfox.

Lately I've been looking back at old characters I've created. I decided that my illustration would involve my old inventor, from my animation Invent that I hand-drew and put together my senior year of college. He would have just thought of what would be his crowning invention, the pinnacle of all his years tinkering away, when everything else inside of his head decides against it and wrecks his thought. Thus, deconstructing his grand idea into a fleeting memory.

I never gave him a name. I'll name him now. I think he should be called Dr. Mattias Emory.

What the name means to me: Well, I was really looking for a inventorly name, first off. Then I wanted to play upon the theme that was present in the animation and in this illustration: Even great minds, which can invent the most wondrous things, are susceptible to ailments (such as memory loss).

So I wanted to, of course, play with the word "memory." Which led to M. Emory.

I initially picked "Mattias" because i thought it fit his face and character, and upon looking up the origin/definition, it says it means "Gift of God," which is actually the most perfect fit. Dr. Emory is a creator, after all.

Haha, I'm really pleased with how that name exercise worked out, especially since it was my first stab and took less than a minute.

Hope you enjoy the illustration and the concept!

Spot On!

Cheetah Burt is not only an artist, but he's exceptionally fast, as cheetahs are known to be. Is it "cheetahs," or "cheeti?"

Just kidding. But srlsy, folks. He's been clocked at over 300hpm and 150chpm (hatches and cross-hatches per minute), and holds several gesture-drawing championship titles. Oodles of doodles in a minute amount of minutes.

He's pictured here holding several Micron pens - his artistic tool of choice. He holds the #002 in his mouth and 005, 05 and 08 in his left paw. Sometimes all are put to use at once.

It's even been rumored that CB dips his tail in india ink and uses it as a brush. How very resourceful!

He always draws when there are plenty of gazelle and antelope fans around. If they are impressed enough by his art, then he is guaranteed to never be a starving artist.

This Burtimal was done with watercolor and some Prismacolor pens.

Hope it was all you hoped it would be when you insisted I draw a cheetah, Ribs! I think next up is an opossum...

Babies Vs. Bunnies

A few days ago this idea popped into my head:

"What if things got switched up a bit and a giant Easter bunny went around hiding human babies in the grass for little bunnies to find?"

That's it. My mind went straight to that. No beating around the bushy tails. I'd say it took about nine hours from that concept's incubation until its hatching onto Draw, Burt, Draw! I did get carried away (as usual), but I knew from the start that I was going to get a bunch of kicks out of this.

There's a baby trying to eat a squirrel, for baby-crying out loud! Babies riding animals! There is even a secret, hidden baby.

I was having an in-depth discussion with my friend (a fellow illustrator) Denis about the outcome of a war between babies and bunnies. I've spontaneously decided to write a backstory for this epic idea:

The Adorable, Yet Oppressively Stinky War
After peace talks had failed multiple times, and the dispute over supplies of mashed carrots had come to a head, war was declared globally between all of bunny and babykind. There could be no pacifistic solution (all of the baby pacifiers were long gone, due to a daring raid on a large stockpile in Paris by a multi-national troupe of multi-colored rebel rabbits earlier in the year).

Following countless skirmishes in the Americas, Southern Asia and Western Europe, a decisive battle was fought. This major encounter became later known as the Battle of the Bulging Diaper. Armies ten thousand strong amassed for each side. Knowing the importance of this particular fight, both sides started each other down for days, waiting to see who would make the first move. Corporal Blankie Pinkbottom later chronicled these tense times leading up to the battle in his novel, The Day That Changed Our Lives, And Our Diapers. What follows is an excerpt, translated from baby-talk by a team of scholars:

"We were all hungry, tired, thirsty and needed changing in a bad way. My regiment knew the big moment was coming, and we could feel destiny taking baby steps towards us. I want to go nap-nap."

The Battle of the Bulging Diaper commenced when a bottle-rocket accidentally went off and shot into the sky. Taking this as an offensive maneuver, the rabbit army charged the front, catching the babies off guard. Rallying their second line, and water balloon artillery, the babies soon regained ground, taking only minor injuries. What follows is another excerpt from Corporal Pinkbottom's account:

"Did those furskins think we'd give up that easily? Do they not KNOW what we babies are made of? Do they expect us to crawl around on our hands and knees, begging for mercy, crying for mommy? Pah, I spit-up in their faces."

War was cutely waged for a few minutes before both rabbit and baby alike started wailing. The piercing cry of twenty thousand irritated soldiers caused both armies to cease offensive action and enter into truce talks. The battlefield was slowly cleared. On a sidenote, the battlefield cleanup took months. Can you imagine twenty-thousand poop factories in one place for an extended period of time?!?!

The Aftermath (Afternap)
The terms of the truce were simple and giggle-inducing. The babies were to supply the rabbits with a goodly supple of mashed veggies and juice boxes, while the rabbits would dish out free bunnyback rides upon any infant's request. Paw met chubby hand at a formal dinner and the two heads of the armies agreed on peace and peas.

Nibbles Hairrington, one of bunnykind's most revered diplomats, proclaimed the truce to be one of the greatest moments in recent history. At least, that is what bunny-talk specialists tell us. It was mostly just blinks and hops. But an excerpt from the transcribed "speech" sheds some light on the rabbits' point of view:

"As the literal cries of both babe and bun alike slowly waned with the daylight, a different sort or cry took its place. A cry of rejoicing; lament was no longer welcome. Differences aside, babe and bun have come together on this night, lowered their warring arms, and embraced one another in loving arms.

Embrace this moment, all. For it simply isn't enough to be adorable. One must also adore."

Thus ended the cutest struggle that has ever swept this planet. On a sidenote, Corporal Blankie Pinkbottom was decorated with several medals for displaying incredible feats of babery during the Battle of the Bulging Diaper. He was immediately promoted to Sergeant and put in charge of his own platoon, which he immediately branded as "The Terrible Tykes." They have gone on to be one of the Baby Army's most respected and accomplished platoons.

This, of course, has nothing directly to do with the illustration, which is obviously post-truce.

In Conclusion
I had a great time drawing this, as you can probably tell. If you'd like a higher resolution version, let me know; it's hard to see all of the details in this web version.

OH! And be sure to leave a comment answering this question:

Which is your favorite baby illustrated here?

Have a happy Easter!

The Mattnoceros

Well, ladies and animals, I'm proud to announce that the Burtimal series has sprouted wings and has flown off into the stratosphere. My friend Matt has gone ahead and drawn his own Mattimal, a rhino playing vijdo gamz.! I'm proud to display him on my blog.

If anyone out there has been inspired by a Burtimal to do your own self-animalistic portrait, please do so, and I'll post it.

Fun!

Illustration by Matt Guidry

Illustration Friday - Tallies Man

You know, I really should stop having someone verbally tell me the theme for Illustration Friday. I heard "Tallies Man" when, come to find out a little too late, the theme was "Talisman!"

Oh well! It phonetically fits the theme.

As you can see, I love throwing a fun little concept into my illustrations. Please feel free to make your own story for the illustration and post it as a comment!

Here's mine:

For reasons unknown, Ansel, at age five, developed an obsession with keeping tallies.

He kept track of everything: how many people he has met, number of meals eaten outdoors, number of times he turned left, how many black cats crossed his path, how many white dogs crossed his path, how many paths crossed other paths, the number of times he's heard someone say "Good day." He kept tallies for the total number of hiccups he's had in his life, as well as sneezes in his vicinity. He's recorded how many times he's lost at Tic-Tac-Toe and won at Paper-Rock-Scissors. The list goes on.

He even has a master tally for number of tallies kept.

So, you can imagine why his neighbors and friends call Ansel the "Talliesman," right?

The illustration above shows him keeping track of his age. Hope you enjoyed this entry!

Bamboozled

Oh, panda panda,
Panda bear!
You strum guitar,
And here I stare.

Can't stand-a, stand-a
Stand too still-
Those fuzzy chords
Bam-bruise my will.

Sit and sway
Oh, every day.
My panda bear-
Oh, stay and play!

(Sway and sway!)

(Sway away!)

(All day, hey!)

My panda bear!